Monday, February 10, 2014

The One Where It Takes A Small Town Not A Village Day 2 Session 1

IF: God is Real, Then What?

First Speaker Sarah Bessey,  I found her through blog hopping.  Following links on Facebook.  I found her.  I haven't read her book.  I just follow her.  I like her.  I like her philosophy.  I agree with it.  Yea, I agree the greater of the verses should be Submit One To Another.  I also believe in being Submissive to my husband, he is my covering.  He's a wonderful husband who allows me to be me and lets me grow. Allows The Lord to soften my heart.  He doesn't submit to me, not do we have that kind of relationship.   But Submit One To Another, I get it.  She's got me listening.  Like where Mary was the first person to "preach the gospel"  Jennie Allen addressed that they had differences and it was a sweet moment.  Women of all ages and theologies and ideas and sizes and Bible Versions are welcome. 

Sarah Bessey: 

I'm too liberal for the conservatives and too conservative for the liberals and I believe shoes should be comfortable! (everyone laughed)

I'm a Jesus Feminist.  I'm a cryer.  I still have stars in my eyes about Jesus.

Today is not about to do lists or evangelical heroes. It's about grace.

Turn to Matthew 11, I'll be reading out of The Message for all you biblical scholars! (Laughter)

After hearing Ann speak last night I got up at midnight to change what I wanted to say.   Is Jesus Beautiful or Useful to you?

28-30: Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me.  Get away with me and you'll recover your life.  I'll show you how to take a real rest.  Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it.  Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.  I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.  Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.

Learn the unforced rhythm of grace.  Walk with Him.  Fall in step with the man from Nazareth.

Make your Right Now Life an Alter!  Your true being brims over into words and deeds! So. Walk. With. Him.

Is the parable of your life your own belief that you have to earn? Work hard for? Run faster to fill in the gaps?  More to-dos?   Or are you walking in the unforced rhythms of grace.

God saved you because He Loves You and Delights in You!  God doesn't want to use you! He wants to be with you because He Loves You!

EMMANUEL - GOD WITH US!

NOT:
God for us
God using us
God managing us
God working us
God manipulating us

When you are in step with Him, things are different. Jesus calls us friends.  Sooo, If: God is Real, Then What?

Let our life be the natural consequence of the Sacred Company we are keeping.  Our homes, our churches, our neighborhoods is where our life happens.

Prayer (as much as I could write):

Jesus we want to walk in your ways where ever you lead us.
And draw us into community where we stay - anyway
When toes get stepped on and we'll be hurt
And we forgive and stay - anyway
That we have the guts to follow wherever you lead us
Where there's messy living rooms,
Dirty Dishes, Late Nights, Friends That Show Up
That we would long for prayer and scripture
Let us be the hands and feet to every soul
In our care and in our influence for you
Let us sit outside under your sky and
BE SATISFIED
Let us walk in the knowledge of the
Sacredness and Purpose of our lives
The Active leading of the Holy Spirit
Love is our Identity
Speech seasoned with salt
A Sisterhood of Grace.
Courage to face our lives as they are right now
Cuz RIGHT NOW Is It
Keep our eyes on Jesus for
Signs of your presence.

Jennie Allen interviews Kristen Armstrong.  I have a few notes, but they aren't coherent!

Bianca: 

If we are to pursue the call that God has for us, the race we are to run, it's a Yes/And.

We need to recognize our sins. And stop minimizing our place. Let Go in Jesus Name and without doubt Run!

You can't run if you're looking back.   Release your mind from lies, Be Transformed.  In order to "throw off" the thing that hinders you need to change your thoughts.

It has been said that hurt people, hurt people.  But FREE people FREE people!

I want to free others!  How?

1) Transforming your mind (Romand 12:1-2, I Corinthians 10:3-5)
2) Think on these things (Philippians 4:8)
3) Put them into practice (Philippians 4:9)

There is a plan for you! There is a purpose for you!  Let the ruins come to life!!

Run:
With Endurance
With Patience
With Perseverance
Never Quit!

RUN YOUR RACE!

You need a come to Jesus Moment where you aren't afraid anymore!  This is NOT for someone else! This. Is. For. Me!  Remember who you are!! Whose you are!

This isn't a sprint its a Marathon!  Stand at the starting line and stare the enemy down!

RUN IT DOWN!

What are you afraid of? Humiliation doesn't await you!!  Though my enemy surround me - God surrounds my enemy!

Our potential is unlimited because an unlimited God lives in us!!

I love all the running metaphors because I'm a runner.  I get it.  I can visualize what's being said.  Running is soooo mental and "mental".  If I've heard it once I'e heard it the snakiness 100 times…. Why do you run?! Why I wouldn't run unless something was chasing me!  

To which I reply, something IS chasing me…. Heart Disease.  High Cholesterol.  Diabetes.  Mental Illness.   And metaphorically God.  He's got a race bib for me. He's Got My Number!  And has numbered every hair on my head.  He's not counting them.  He.Knows.Them.  It's time to lace up and hit the pavement running!!  Throw OFF the things that hinder!! Run the race with abandon! 


Rebekah Lyons:

I don't know her, never heard of her until today, but her message wrecked me.  I have a… not a special needs child but a high needs child.  Easily frustrated, lacking communication, not on grade level at school, dyslexic (sorry kiddo, you inherited that), ADD (unmedicated, his decision).  Moved from the city to the country where I found God. I'd heard about God, for years. But God Found me in a small town, guess it was easier there?  Wasn't raised in church, but around church.  Saved as a teen, begged God every day after that to save me. Prone to fears and anxiety.  Panic attacks.   I too am afraid of mental illness.   I have mentally ill family members.  People to struggle with addictions. People who need help.  People who have left scars.  Mental Illness scares me.  

She talks about Parker Palmers book Let Your Life Speak.

Is the life I lead the life that longs to live in me?  We are supposed to run, but how? How do I live? What do I do?

I chuckle at her Chic Fil A Play Dates and Target Therapy.  That's me.  Right there.  I swear I'm the only one in the room… oh wait, I'm watching at home with my peeps still a sleep I am the only one in the room.  It's me and her.  And I'm just Wrecked.  

She talks about her son Cade being born with complications, how he has Down Sydrome and he's' in the NICU.  My son doesn't' have Down Syndrome, but he's born with complication and is in the NICU.   She finally gets to see him and says:

He looks at me with his smallness and peaks his eyes open to say:

Are you gonna love me, for me?  Not for what I can do? Or what I can accomplish? Or what milestones I can meet so that you think you're a good mom?   (did she just say that? yes she did! Oh…. breath out really slowly…. wipe my face, unblur my eyes, thankful for technology I can pause her and listen again…..) 

Are you gonna love me, for me? Not for what I can do? Or what I can accomplish? Or what milestones I can meet so you think you're a good mom?  (I think there, there you have it, the secret is out, this is how I think.  What kind of hoops do I need my kiddo to jump though so I feel better?) 

In praying for Cade she asks for him to be whole… a friend confronts her and says maybe your version of Whole and Gods version of Whole look Different.  (and I pray every day, after that prayer of salvation, sometimes before it, that God would open my boys mind, help him to learn, rewire his brain so he's successful and has confidence… in other words make him into who I want him to be not who You have created him to be…. I might need to turn Rebecca off….) 

Regarding moving to NYC:

I thought I was going to NYC looking for meaning, it turns out I found surrender.  

We moved from the city to a small town after I was laid off, in part to start over a bit, and in part so I could become a stay at home mom.  It required a lot of down sizing.  I thought I moved to the "country" to be the mom I always wanted to be, to go to bible studies like other moms, to go to play dates and socialize.   It turns out, I'm not that great of a mom, I was panicked about it.  And walking into a bible study was paralyzing.  And I went to play dates, but I'm the girl in the corner with the not so socially adapted child.   Panic and paralyzing fear became the new normal. 

Unlike Rebecca I didn't tell anyone about it.  I prayed and prayed to the sky with no change.  I put on my pretend face and just kept going.

Regarding her revelation/deliverance:

Sometimes you don't receive your gift, the gift of deliverance until you're interceding for someone else.

Women are gripped in fear.  One in four take meds for anxiety (i do not, why? I'm afraid of them).

The root of anxiety is unfulfilled responsibility.  You were made for more and you're not doing it!
We fade when we don't know who are are.
When we don't know what He knit in our mothers womb
When we don't know that our frame was NOT hidden from Him.
When we don't know His works are wonderful.

When He knit you, He made you with distinct birth right gifts. And believe me there is enough calling for everyone!

What is your birthright gift? That thing that makes you happy? That thing that annoyed your parents as a child?  That thing that comes so naturally to you?

Your calling is nothing more than our talents and burdens combined. Where they collide.   Running from your true self prevents you from ever hearing the call.

Burden is informed by the life you life, the family you were born into, the story you've told, by a broken heart.

Calling comes from facing your greatest fear.  What is your greatest fear?  (really, I have so many, must I pick one over another?)  Stop asking for clarity and ask to see things clearly!  Because you can be in your calling and be rescued and delivered and still not be Free!

Challenge to write first 40 minutes you're awake… you think the most clear.

Affirmation from the world will not heal a broken heart - only Jesus can do that.  When you do what you do for an audience of One it always counts!  He makes it new as if it were never broken!

So You're It!  You are my holy people whom I Love!

This rescuing and receiving and delivery, it requires responsibility.

It starts with confession.  We struggle with freedom because we struggle with healing, because we struggle with confession.   Just say it.  I don't know why I'm this way help me heal and be free.

Cast off our sin so you can RUN!

(and cue the bawling, Oh Lord, I need this, these ladies, this moment, all of this, yes really Thank You Jesus!) 

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