There were a few mentions yesterday about some sparkers who feel at times they can't take the trash out, how it builds up and makes it hard for them to move around.
I've had that experience. I know how that feels. So much piled up, so much junk, garbage, and clutter. I didn't have the Cleavers for parents. I've been overwhelmed by the piles and the crud.
I read a book about health and nutrition. And while I don't agree completely with the authors "style" of health and nutrition, I was able to "eat the meat and spit out the bones" per se.
There is an exercise he mentions about forgiveness. Hold on!! I know what you're thinking.....breath in and out for a moment. Forgiveness isn't about letting someone off the hook. It isn't about lack of accountability or responsibility. Its about hook availability!
When we fail to forgive we are on the hook. We are holding on for dear life. We hold onto yesterday, three days ago, 5 years ago, 13 years ago, 35 years ago. If we're holding onto the hook then surely we're holding then responsible. Right? That would be the logic in that.
Let me tell you something, the hook means you're being eaten for dinner, friends! The only person who is being eaten (alive) is you! The other person is carrying on with their life having no thought about what they have done. (trust me on this one.....i could write a book of stories)
Holding onto the past is like drinking poison in hopes that it will kill your enemy! It doesn't kill them.....it only kills you. With poor health, depression, emotional eating......just fill in the blank. My blank was drinking and generally a destructive life. Who was I hurting? Not the offenders, that's for sure!
ANYWAY! Back to the hook. When you get off the hook, you allow for hook availability. Whether you see it materialize in your lifetime or not, the hook is available now for others. You stop being dinner. You stop being in a tug of war with the hook. You stop being in the holding pattern.
This Forgiveness Exercise was very helpful for me in leaving the past where it belongs.
****NOTE**** If you are offended by "religion" by the terms like prayer or God, etc. I encourage you to stop reading now.
Forgiveness Exercise
From Walk Thru The Bible Ministries
Instructions:
Step 1: Take a sheet of paper and write down the name of the person you need to forgive at the top. (one person per paper)
Step 2: Write down the things that person did to cause you pain. I can tell you from experience that once you start remembering those things, your emotions will start to rise to the surface, but that’s okay. That’s just a sign you haven’t forgiven them yet.
Step 3: Once your list is complete, you need to look at each person’s name and say “I forgive you for…..,” and say out loud what they did to hurt you.
Step 4: Then ask God to cleanse you of your past unforgiveness, bitterness and/or resentment. By the time you’ve reached this step, you’ll be heading down the road to recovery. After you’ve completed your list, you should cut up the paper or burn it.
Its not a cure-all. Its just a resource that has helped me thru alot of junk. I had junk my friends. Now I'm down to a managable pile of clutter, but its getting smaller. Occassionally I have to go thru this exercise again, I generally burn mine. Its more ceremonial to me. I watch the paper burn, mourn the loss of that event, that relationship, that crutch I was using to hold me back. And I move on.
On another "religious" type of note: CS Lewis said something incredible well he said alot of incredible things, but this one stuck with me a long time ago.
Anything that's not dead in your life can't be raised up!
Have a super Tuesday!! :D
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