The One Where I Learn Who I Am

Until recently I couldn't remember where I'd heard it.  Read it.  Learned about it.  But the memory of it remains.  Jen Hatmaker wrote about finally finding her vibe, who she is, how she functions in a world of loud and people.  She says she felt "diagnosed" for the first time in her life after reading Susan Cains Quiet.  The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking.   I would tend to agree with this analysis about myself and I can see how it applies to Jen Hatmaker.

I was raised with an extrovert parent, to be an extroverted person.  To enjoy group activities,  dislike solitude, prefer large (and loud) parties, enjoy talking (on the phone, in person, in crowds, to people), to be busy all.the.time, to multitask... things of this nature.

However, I actually prefer small settings.  I experience sensory overload.  I dislike large crowds, by large I mean more than 10 people.  I particularly dislike large crowds in small spaces.  I have anxiety about being in crowded public places.   People, noisy environments, loudness, crunching sounds (like ice, chips, popcorn, gum popping, slurping) can send me over the edge.

I purchased Susan Cain's book after reading Jen Hatmakers For The Love (Chapter 17 is her introvert epiphany).  I am determined to read it this month...er..re-read it...I mean finish reading it.

Some tidbits that enabled me to turn away from the loud and chatty to embracing the introspective are:

Introverts recharge their batteries by being alone.  CHECK  Introverts dislike small talk.  CHECK  A typical introvert would rather spend their vacation reading on the beach than on a cruise ship.  CHECK  Introverts prefer environments that are not overstimulating.  CHECK

All of this made sense to me and I began embracing who I am.  An Introvert.

In knowing this I have resolved this year to be who I am.  In the words of Gretchen Rubin, who states in her book The Happiness Project to Be Gretchen.   I resolve to Be Shelly.   Live by the rules of being Shelly.

I'll update with where I am in the book this month (or however long it takes me to read it.)

The One Where I'm a Pfuhl

A play on words but I love this song and it explains a bit about this blog. I will use it for writing on a few topics that are dear to me:

Forgiveness/Freedom and to jot down notes for a new bible study I'm working thru about Ruth.


Fool For You By Nichole Nordeman

There are times when faith and common sense do not align, when hardcore evidence of you is hard to find, and I am silenced in the face of argumenative debate, it's a long hill it's a lonley climb. Maybe it's true.

CHORUS: Cause they want proof, They want proof of all these mysteries I claim, Cause only fools would want to chant a dead man's name. I would be a fool for you all because you asked me to. A simpleton who's seeming naive, I do believe You came and made Yourself a fool for me.

I admit that in my darkest hours I've asked what if, What if we created some kind of man made faith like this, Out of good intention or emotional invention, and after life is through there will be no You.
Cause they want proof of all these miracles I claim, Cause only fools believe that men can walk on waves. Maybe it's true.

Unaware of popularity, and unconcerned with dignity, You made me free. That's proof enough for me.

I would be a fool for You, Only if You asked me to, A simpletonwho's only think of, The cause of love.
I will speak Jesus name, and if that makes me crazy, they can call me crazed, I'm happy to be seemingly naive, I do believe You came andmade Yourself a fool for me.

http://www.esnips.com/doc/3093cf58-2aef-4069-b925-a06ca781e4a0