Who's Driving Your Wagon?

Repost from Spark:

I met Coach Nancy at the bridge today, we had a great time, walking and talking. We talked more than we walked. It was a four mile walk, a four hour talk.

Having someone like minded gave me an opportunity to bounce alot of my thoughts off her and honestly I think we both have hours of blog material now! LOL And this is one of them....but I got to thinking about this particular part of our conversation and I hope it translates as well into blog as it did in person.

I hear the term or phrase: I fell off the wagon. I'm getting on the wagon. While I understand what the phrase means and that it applies to other aspects of life issues, I'm will only be discussing it today in terms of Spark People.

To get there I want to sing a little song, some of you may know it and some of you may not. It's kind of a strange song to make the point but I hope it will make sense.

Time Warp - Rocky Horror Picture Show

It's just a jump to the left
And then a step to the right
Put your hands on your hips
And bend your knees in time
But its the pelvic thrust, that really drives you insane
Let's do the Time Warp Again!

I equate the Time Warp to being "on or off the wagon". And if it's a wagon, and you're ON the wagon, who's driving it? You? And if not you then who? Are the horses out of control? Hmmmmm....that's a foder for an whole other blog....back to this one.

If getting on the wagon is a jump to the left
And getting off the wagon is a step to your right
And while your off the wagon you put your hands on your hips (or calories) and bend your knees (only exercise when I feeeeeeeeeel like it)
I think the pelvic thrust that drives you insane is binge eating and guilt.

Are you really moving? Isn't it just a series of "a jump to the left and a step to the right"? How are you moving forward with all the side stepping?

And again I ask you WHO is driving the wagon?

At some point in this Spark Journey, you have to decide to take the reigns, you have to do the work, you have to stop trying to fill the hole, the void, the abyss, the loneliness, the "someday syndrome", the I'll be happy when thoughts, with food, with bad food or good for you food, alcohol, whatever, you fill in your own blank (destructive behavior).

Until you stop being content (and who are we kidding, you're not content) with riding in the wagon, getting off and getting on and getting off and getting on...

Until you become the DRIVER (taking control of your life) and not the PASSENGER (blame anything else for "perceived failure") you will not be successful. I said it. You're right! This won't work.

Until you take the reigns, Until you make the choices: water and fuel, Until you use the Spark Tools, Until you get off the couch and put on the shoes. You're not moving forward. You're not the driver of the wagon.

Are you ready to grab the reigns?

Don't just think you are.
KNOW you are.
Don't just TRY.
DO.

Food and Running and Other Stuff

I need to dust this place off! I need to post some race reports and get to the heart of the matter around here again!

I started this blog over the summer and somehow not it's winter!

I've trained, I've run, I've turned vegetarian and now looking into a gluten free lifestyle as well.
I've maintained my weight loss over a year!! But I'm looking to drop 10 more pounds.

I have quilt projects and recipes and pictures and spark blogs I should transfer as well! :D

Now, where's my swiffer!?

Climate Change (2007)

The climate changes here quite frequently, the old adage about Texas weather is if you don't like it just wait 15 minutes...it'll change.

This summer has been "off". Normally our summers are scorchers. 100+ degrees. Who of us can forget the summer of 1980? Who still has the T-Shirt?

But this summer has been lacking in heat. Its rained and rained and rained. What was once a land in drought, has become flooded. Our lakes are full, our streams streaming, our rivers flowing, yet I feel stagnant. I feel like I can't get enough water, although over all that I survey, we're at flood level.

I started off "the summer" with the intention of getting all the uncomplete bible studies completed.
Starting with the ones I had purchased most recently and work my way back. The good news is, I got that one done. I loved it. I was on the mountain with God.

The bad news is, not a one since has been touched. They are still collecting dust. I did a summer study at church with kept the fires going with a little kindling, but that's about it.

Its as if the passion of the blazing sun of summer was gone and so was my Passion for the Blazing Son. No! I've misspoken. My passion isn't gone, its under the water somewhere. Or the rain waters washed it down stream.

Maybe what I need is a search team....rescuers! (hey isn't that a Disney movie??)Anyway, what i need is a place to dry it off, to get in from the weather, to enjoy a cup of tea and begin the process of being reacquainted with Gods Word....with God.

The pages of my prayer journal have been empty for too long. So I sit here...at the computer.....wondering what to say, yet being filled with so many things. Thirsty in a flooded land.

The opposite of one of my favorite Psalms.

Psalm 63A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.

1 O God, you are my God,earnestly I seek you;my soul thirsts for you,my body longs for you,in a dry and weary landwhere there is no water.

2 I have seen you in the sanctuaryand beheld your power and your glory.

3 Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.

4 I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.

5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

6 On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.

7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

8 My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.

9 They who seek my life will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth.

10 They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals.

11 But the king will rejoice in God; all who swear by God's name will praise him, while the mouths of liars will be silenced.


Maybe not so opposite. My soul feels like a desert land. Dry and in need of water. I like it that its titled: A Psalm of David, while he was in the desert of Judah.

Judah meaning Praised, Celebrated. That's fitting.

Wow, God never stops surprising me with His Word. In the Desert of Praise. That's the key really.

Praising. Praise Him and raise up out of the pit. Praise Him and be filled. Be satisfied.

There is a song we used to sing at church about this Psalm.

You are my God, I seek You
My soul thrists for you
You are my God I seek you
My flesh faints for you

*in a dry and weary landyou are my wateryou are my water*

you are my God i need you
you have been my help
you are my God i need you
let joyful lips sing

*in a dry and weary land you are my wateryou are my water*

your steadfast love is better than life
your steadfast love is better than life

Does any of this make sense, I don't know, its just where I'm at today.

dust off the old

I'll have a few of these until I get my thoughts together on Freedom/Forginess. This is just old stuff I've written, thoughts rollin' around in my head over the past 5-6 years.

Stagnant Waters
Not much has changed from my last post....I still feel stagnant. Surrounded by mosquito infested water. I guess there's not much comparision between a mosquito and a lion but what came to mind immediately was:The advesary is like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. (I peter 5:8)

Thats kinda like a game of Mother may I, right? The advesary has to have your permission to devour. Seems like these days I've given out alot of permission. **SIGH**How does one get that back?

Back to I Peter....6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.8 Be sober, be vigilant; your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.9 Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.10 But the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, will perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.

Looks like a path one can follow....

Humble Yourself.
Cast Your Care.
Be Sober

Greek Word: Nephoto be sober, to be calm and collected in spiritto be temperate, dispassionate, circumspect.

Be Vigilant. Dictionary: keenly watchful Resist.

Be Steadfast. Dictionary: strong, firm, immovable, solid, hard, rigid.

I like what the greek has to say about this word being used in a bad sense:"cruel, stiff, stubborn, hard" thats descriptive of steadfast in a bad way

And then the best two words (in this case three) in the bible.But God.Thank God for the "but Gods" in the bible, in my life....otherwise I'd be pretty hopeless.

The One Where I'm a Pfuhl

A play on words but I love this song and it explains a bit about this blog. I will use it for writing on a few topics that are dear to me:

Forgiveness/Freedom and to jot down notes for a new bible study I'm working thru about Ruth.


Fool For You By Nichole Nordeman

There are times when faith and common sense do not align, when hardcore evidence of you is hard to find, and I am silenced in the face of argumenative debate, it's a long hill it's a lonley climb. Maybe it's true.

CHORUS: Cause they want proof, They want proof of all these mysteries I claim, Cause only fools would want to chant a dead man's name. I would be a fool for you all because you asked me to. A simpleton who's seeming naive, I do believe You came and made Yourself a fool for me.

I admit that in my darkest hours I've asked what if, What if we created some kind of man made faith like this, Out of good intention or emotional invention, and after life is through there will be no You.
Cause they want proof of all these miracles I claim, Cause only fools believe that men can walk on waves. Maybe it's true.

Unaware of popularity, and unconcerned with dignity, You made me free. That's proof enough for me.

I would be a fool for You, Only if You asked me to, A simpletonwho's only think of, The cause of love.
I will speak Jesus name, and if that makes me crazy, they can call me crazed, I'm happy to be seemingly naive, I do believe You came andmade Yourself a fool for me.

http://www.esnips.com/doc/3093cf58-2aef-4069-b925-a06ca781e4a0

Some thoughts along the way

Was posting with a friend back and forth about this being a journey. its a journey not a destination. That is what this lifestyle is....when you get down to it, that is what LIFE is. 

You can't (ok, well you can, i can, we all can) live from destination to destination. We can all live by the "I'll be happy when...." bone. But why? Why will you be happy in the future? Why not be happy today! It's Happiness, not Happen-ness, right. I don't mean gleeful, I mean content. 

I heard someone say this one time and its stuck with me. "Its simple, not always easy." 

Being happy today, its simple for me to say. Not always easy to live out. I think, well I'll speak for me. I used to live by "destination." By the "I'll be happy when" bone. Ya know the "wish bone". 

I'll be happy when: 

I'm married 
have kids 
change jobs 
retire 
move 
have ____ $$ 

I'll be happy when my kids are outta diapers, walk, talk, can dress themself, feed themself, stop fighting with their brother, start school, get outta school!! 


I'll be happy when I'm 30, 40, 50. 

Oooh how about this....I'll be happy when I'm _______ pounds! When I fit into ____ size. 

Again, why be happy (content) in the future? Why not today? For me it was because I lived by destinations. 

I'm not Noah Webster (yes he really had a first name and an actual purpose for his book google Noah Websters 1828 Dictionary) But here are my definitions of Destination and Journey: 


A destination is where you pack your bags with all your baggage (and I don't mean leather suitcases with wheels or anything else), old junk, old stuff, old you, old everything. You go to your "destination" spot, have a good time, eat too much, drink too much, relax a bit, get sunburned, purchase souveniers (which will be baggage someday) to take back with you to allllll your old stuff. 

A journey is much different. Cuz you leave your "stuff" at the docks. Maybe you take a backpack, but otherwise, its just you, putting one foot in front of the other to the place where you become and when you get to where you "become" you continue on the journey, because becoming isn't a destination. 

Becoming: here i'll get a little bit "greek" on ya! In the greek they have interesting grammar. One part is a present active imperitive (meaning of uncertain affinity), its like this "I see and I keep on seeing." It doesn't stop. Its not on a "walk/run" program, its only running. 

I become and I keep on becoming, taking each change of the road on. The highs the lows, the turns, the rest stops, the places with no decent bathroom, the bumps, the hills, the valleys, the intercestion where the light is too long, the stretch of the road where I put it on cruise control and turn up the radio! Its all a journey. Enjoy your journey to becoming. :) 

August and Everything After

That is the title the one of my favorite albums. The Counting Crows first album. 

Here is the plan for August, I'm still on the Darby Barrios Plan for now, although I'm running more than the plan, when I can; when I can't I go back to walking. I am hoping that August will be a month when I am able to stay on a work out schedule and not have injuries, accidents and the like. 

I am still sore from the June accident, so there is some stuff I just can't do yet. But I do what I can, however slowly it may be, its certainly surely! :) 

MWFS are Run Days. 
T, Th, (sometimes saturdays) are ST days 
I do the Quickfire Challenges when I am (physically) able. 

Today is W5D1 and the rest of the month looks like this: 

Week 5: Walk 3 minutes, then run 12 minutes, then repeat. By the end of the week walk 3 minutes, run 15 minutes, walk until rested, then run the rest of the session. 
Goal by weeks end: a 15-minute running segment. 

Week 6: Walk 5 minutes to begin and end the workout. Run 20 minutes in the middle. 
Goal: 20 minutes of continuous running 

Week 7: Walk 3 minutes to begin and end the workout. Run 24 minutes in the middle. 
Goal: 24 minutes of continuous running 

Week 8: Walk only a block or so to limber up then run the full 30 minutes 

I weighed today, I'm suffering from an overload of sodium this weekend, so the number isn't quite what I'd like for August, but its still out of 140-ville, so Whooo hooo!! And I still measure about the same. I've been consistantly 136.0-136.4, since my lowest weight of July at 135.0 mid-month. 

AUGUST 2009: 
Weight 137.2 (sodium inflated) 
Bust: 38 
Chest: 32 
Waist 31.00 
Belly Button: 32 
Hips: 37.00 
Neck: 14.75 

1/4 inch changes, but much, but its still progress 
1.2 pounds from first of July to first of August. But tomorrow or Wednesday I'll be back down to aroun 135-136. 

GW this month 130. I want to get out of the middle 130's threshhold. I think more water and less sodium will be the key for that. More Fruits and Veggies, less giving into what DH wants for dinner. Stick to the meal plan. I feel better and lose more when I do. 

Its gonna be a hot month, so I'll be swimming more, which means I'll be burning alot more calories. I just need to make sure the calories in are nutritious and not calories for the sake of calories. 

Come on say it with me!! 

A PLAN WITH NO ACTION IS JUST A WISH!! 

Don't jus wish for a new life, weight loss, toned muscles. Go MAKE IT HAPPEN!!